The Tower, Daily Make Outs, and Fear of the Unknown

It seems like every single person I check in with is being pushed into the unknown in their own unique ways, myself included. It is definitely a time of shedding and changing.

What do you think of when you hear the word death? How about transformation? Rebirth? All these words are super intense. It makes it seem like we are entering this time of complete and total spiritual upheaval. Like all these major, life-altering, grueling initiations are waiting around the corner, snapping their fingers in unison while catching up to you like in West Side Story or something. 

I want to take a moment to ease your potentially worried heart, My Love. This time reminds me of a story that happened to my best pal, Tate. 

Each year, we sit down and we do our tarot year spread. We place 12 cards in a circle, and one card in the middle. Each tarot card represents the flavor of whatever month it falls on. Well, Tate got The Tower as one of her months. And in that moment, we went from laughing and joking about Freaks and Geeks to falling silent as if we just saw her own death date. November. If you’ve ever seen the Tower card — it is a big tower on fire with lightening bolts and people jumping out of the windows. AKA shit is about to burn, baby.

For months, we waited to see the fate of November, playing it off cool but secretly hushing the gnawing feeling in our gut. Finally, August rolled around. Did she get fired? No. Did anyone die? No. Did she lose everything? No. 

But what did happen is she met one of the great loves of her life, and all of the walls she built to block out love came crashing down. They are still happily together, totally in love, and make out every day. 

So my love, initiations into transformation can come from the most loving, tender, soft spaces. Like a first kiss with the person you’ve been waiting your whole life to meet. Or watching a documentary about a person who blows your mind and lights a flame inside of your heart. Or hearing more about your Grandmother’s life and the things she’s experienced. Or coming back home to your body and feeling safe there for the first time. 

We don’t have to create a narrative that “going into the darkness” is going to be grueling, like you’re going to lose everything, and have to drag yourself through it. It is amazing what can truly transform you, without having to suffer endlessly for months on end. 

So breathe deep, baby. Be open to the initiations that surround you during this sacred time. They come in very interesting, sometimes steamy, always loving ways.